What is the future of marketing – Clues from my 10 year-old

We, as humans, have always been fascinated by the future. From oracles to AI driven predictive algorithms, our imagination is often captured by predictions of the future. As a marketer, I am constantly looking for trends and patterns. As I went on this journey, I realized that future is unfolding right in front of me, and I could find many clues about the future just by observing my child more closely. Here is what I learnt from my 10 year-old son about the future of marketing:

The virtual world is for real

On his 10th birthday, my son wanted us to buy Robux, which is a virtual currency you buy with actual money!  Robux allow you to buy virtual items and seasons in the popular online game Roblox. While we were grappling with the idea that we are spending real money for “nothing”, there was nothing that our son wanted more for his birthday. For him, it was well worth every real penny!

The market for in-game purchases is pegged to be 74 billion U.S. dollars by 2025! To win in the future, the marketers will need to be in the virtual world, to capture the attention of generation Alpha. There is a growing trend of digital campfires. The new generation is increasingly gravitating towards platforms like Discord and Fortnite for shared digital experiences. Penetrating these digital campfires will be crucial for brands and marketers, to get their message across to this audience group.

So, as marketers, we will need to be where our next generation is and find ways to engage the audience and create experiences that they care about. To find out how ready you are for virtual world, sit down with your tween during his/her next multiplayer online gaming session!

The rise of smartness

When Deloitte gave us free Google Home Mini in celebration of a major headcount milestone, I wasn’t sure if we had much use for it. So, it remained in its packaging in a corner at our home, until my son discovered it. It took him less than a week to figure out how to use it for everything ranging from songs to games to jokes.

While we might still be a few years from IoT devices becoming mainstream, it is safe to assume that smart devices and digital assistants would be deeply ingrained in the life of the new generation. My son would expect his smart refrigerator to automatically fill up with food items he likes, his wardrobe to recommend and purchase clothes as per his style and preferences, and his smart assistant to anticipate his needs and wants, and buy almost anything at the right time, with little to no effort on his part!  

This would mean that the marketers may be marketing more to AI enabled assistants, instead of actual humans, in future. Marketing will increasingly need to be hyper-personalized, one-to-one, real time and more technology and data driven. The era of intrusive, meaningless and irrelevant advertising will be over, and marketing may fully morph into customer advocacy, which means our job as marketers will be to look out for our customer’s best interests, and as brands, being there in the moments that matter.  

Appealing to a capricious audience

My son wants to be a footballer and a scientist when he grows up, both professionally, while making YouTube videos on origami and rap music on the side! All this may be replaced by another set of interests in a few years. Generation Alpha likes to explore and experience new things, and this fluidity may pervade all aspects of their life.

We are already seeing a drop in ownership and increase in rentals, ranging from homes to cars to furniture to clothes, indicating a clear trend towards less commitment and more flexibility. The future generation may change its mind quickly and often, and this would make it difficult for brands to build relationships with this audience. In fact, most of the next gen customers won’t care if 73% of the brands today, disappeared.

To stay relevant in future, brands will need to identify their tribe of loyal followers. They will have to build a niche and close-knit community based on a shared purpose. They will have to find ways to continuously reinforce these bonds, while being expected to communicate with their audience at the speed of light. Further, they must have shared values with their customers, and truly “understand” each one of their customers. For us marketers, there will be a growing need to up our game, when it comes to the 4 E’s of marketing – Experience, Emotion, Engagement and Exclusivity.

The age of influence

My son venerates MrBeast – An American Youtuber who started making videos at the age of 12, and today boasts of 66.5 million subscribers and 12 billion views! Not only does my son love MrBeast’s content, but I see the influence extending far beyond that in my son’s life, in terms of how he thinks, or what he wants to buy.

The age of Influencers has been going on for a while. With the ability to speak the same language as their audience, and being directly relatable to their audience, the power of these influencers can’t be overstated. 55% of generation Alpha wants to buy what their favourite influencers wear. If influencers become retailers themselves, that would mean even more competition for brands, and would create its own set of challenges.

Given the rising influence of influencers, marketers will need to bolster their ability to identify and partner with the right influencers to get their message to their audience. Also, marketers will need to be savvy to ensure that reach and influence translates into the right customer action.

3D Print it now

“What do you mean it will come tomorrow? Why can’t I get it now?” My son needs everything right now. The rise of instant gratification is an unstoppable trend. Our generation progressed from buying things in store to buying things online at the click of a button, with next day, same day and 4-hour delivery. However, the generation Alpha may want to instantly print it right now!

When 3D printing becomes mainstream, the consumers will have the ability to uniquely build something for themselves in their own style and size, in a fraction of time and cost. While this will have great implications for manufacturing, it will also mean overarching changes for marketing. Instead of marketing products, we may be marketing concepts and selling printing instructions. Instead of designing our products, we may be engaging our customers to design the products. There may also be a rise of highly time sensitive, small batch products, which may be marketed “in the moment” to capture that short-lived demand.

To summarize, the future often seems more far-fetched than it actually is. To remain relevant in future, we must pay attention to these trends and indications and prepare ourselves for the needs of tomorrow. That may start by understanding the thought patterns and preferences of children today, who will not only be the customers tomorrow, but are already shaping our own buying behaviour. Research suggests that 4 out of 5 kids greatly influence a family’s purchases. In fact, we already know this from experience - If you have grown up enjoying Maggie noodles and have now had to switch to Yippee noodles, you know what I am talking about! So, ditch your next meeting, and set up time to talk to a tween, to embark on your journey to be future-ready!

 

The joy of being alive (poem)

When your child embraces you 
Like she would never let go
Melting fully in your arms 
Filling your heart with love 

When you see a beautiful sunrise 
With the sky as God's canvas
And the artist at his very best
Creating a feast for your eyes 

When a little act of kindness makes
A world of difference for someone 
And the happiness flows out in tears 

Leaving a warm and content feeling 

When you talk to an old friend
You haven't spoken to in ages
And the conversation just flows
Like you never stopped talking 

When you show courage 
And reach for the impossible 
And somehow manage to get it
Much to your own surprise 

When you suddenly hear 
your favorite song playing 
And it transports you back 
to another place and time 

When you're happy for no reason
And the world feels like your oyster
That's when you know that
You're feeling the joy of being alive 

So much more (Poem)

I thought that when I got older
I would know better
I would be able to tell
Right from wrong
Good from bad
Black from white

But the older I got
The more shades of grey I saw
I noticed that
Everything comes with
Many layers of complexity

I learnt that
What you see on the surface
May bear no resemblance
To the truth
If at all there is
An absolute truth

The woman with
the beautiful smile
May have pain buried
deep inside her heart
The child with
all the toys in the world
May give it all up
for one true friend

The old man with harsh words
May be longing
for someone to care
The man at the
pinnacle of his career
May be the loneliest one

The older I get
The more I learn
That I know so little
And there is so much more
To seek, to understand,
To learn, and to discover

So much more
Compassion to be had
So much more love
To give and receive
So much more to live
In each day of our lives...

Liberated (Poem)

I sit around listless
Not knowing what to do
Entangled in the
Web of my emotions
Trying to make sense of me
Wrestling with the whats
and whys and hows

But the harder I try
The more it slips away
Leaving a bigger void
So I tell myself to
Pause and step back
And let go of my
Pent up frustration
My fears, my anxiety

Stop the endless loop
Of my confused thoughts
Free myself from the grip
Of my own expectations
Put down the burdens
I have been carrying
If only for a little while

And just take a deep breath
Fill my lungs with God’s fresh air
Open my heart up to
All the beauty in this world
Look at the trees
Swaying in the breeze
Gaze at the clouds
Making patterns in the sky

I surrender myself
To the present moment
Detaching myself from
The past and the future
I feel a sense of calm
Descend upon me
And I feel liberated
In this moment…

When you're broken (Poem)

When you are broken
And it feels like the world's end
When your soul is bruised
And your heart is bleeding
When pain engulfs you
Like the darkest cloud
When your entire being screams
That you can't go on
Allow a feeble voice inside you
To tell you to have faith
Get up and move
Crawl, if you must
Just put one foot forward
And then the next
And you might chance upon
A sliver of hope
That may turn into dawn
And maybe even bright sunshine...

Running out of inspiration? Read these four children’s books to get your motivation back

As a voracious reader and a mother of two kids, I read a lot of children’s books. Even though these books are not exactly meant for adults, I am often amazed by the insights and inspiration they bring, and the feelings they stir up. The lessons I learnt through these books can be applied not just to parenthood, but also to work and leadership, and life in general. Here are four children’s books that really moved and inspired me: 

Giraffes can’t dance (By Giles Andreae) 

This children’s classic is about a giraffe named Gerald, who wants to dance but can’t, while everyone he knows can. Gerald goes through painful feelings of incompetence, shame and loneliness, as an unlikely friend draws him in, and helps him discover his skills and confidence. To me, this book is about being different from others, and dealing with feelings of being inadequate or insufficient. While reading this book, I had a flashback to times when I felt “different” or “not good enough”. In fact, this is not something that just children experience while growing up, but something we all may have gone through at varying stages of our lives. Sometimes, a kind word, a thoughtful gesture, or support from a friend or a guide, helps us find something within us that we didn’t believe existed. My key takeaway from this book is that - We all have infinite potential within us, that is just waiting to be realized. 

 “We all can dance when we find music we love”. 

The Dot (By Peter H Reynolds) 

The Dot is a book about a little girl named Vashti who believes that she can’t draw. However, Vashti’s teacher encourages her to start with just a dot. Vashti reluctantly does, finding herself on a journey of exploration and experimentation, ultimately finding the artist within. Not only does she go on that journey herself, but she also inspires someone else, in the beautiful ending of this book. This book highlights the power of our simplest action, that can completely transform our life. It is also about the influence of a mentor or a teacher or a leader who can nudge us towards a fulfilling path. It is a reminder that by just taking that first step, we can embark on a journey of a thousand miles. It also teaches us about how one positive action can create a positive ripple effect, touching lives of others.

 “Just make a mark and see where it takes you” 

Peak (By Roland Smith) 

This book is a coming of age story of a boy named Peak who is a mountain climber. It captures Peak’s life-changing adventure, as he embarks on the journey to reach to the peak of Mount Everest. Not only did this book educate me on what it means to scale the world’s highest mountain, it also reinforced that with courage and determination, you can achieve unimaginable goals. It beautifully illustrates that any journey you undertake is as much emotional as it is physical. It also reminded me that someone’s success is just the tip of the iceberg - The toil and the sacrifices that go into that success may be invisible to the world. However, the most powerful message that I took away was that - While we chase lofty ambitions, we must remember that there are things in life, greater than personal glory. 

 “The only thing you’ll find on the summit of Mount Everest is a divine view. The things that really matter lie far below”. 

Out of my mind (By Sharon M Draper) 

This is a story of an 11-year old girl named Melody, who is brilliant, but has a disability, which makes her and her family’s life very challenging. The biggest thing I learnt from this book was – perspective. Seeing the world through the eyes of a child who has the same dreams and aspirations as other children, but feels trapped in her body, struggling just to get through the day. This book brought out such a flood of emotions in me. I felt immense gratitude for two healthy children. Despite the daily challenges of parenthood, I am grateful for my children’s health and wellbeing, and for the infinite joy and fulfilment they bring to my life. I felt respect and empathy for educators and parents who nurture special children – Parents who must draw upon reserves of faith, courage and patience every single day, to give their child the semblance of a life that others consider “normal”. Throughout this book, I learnt profound lessons on inclusion, and some of these quotes will forever stay with me “She talked to me like I was just like any other student, not a kid in a wheelchair.” “What your body looks like has nothing to do with how well your brain works”. “Sometimes people never even ask my name, like it’s not important or something. It is. My name is Melody.” 

I would like to leave you with this final quote from the book ‘Out of my mind’. “Everybody uses words to express themselves. Except me. And I bet most people don’t realize the real power of words. But I do.” And, the power of words is what has prompted me to put this down. I hope that these words and stories, remind you of you, bring out an emotion, lift you up on a difficult day, and make your life and the life of others around you, just a little bit better. 

 Article originally published at: https://www2.deloitte.com/ui/en/blog/life-deloitte-blog/2021/running-out-of-inspiration-read-childrens-books.html

What I learnt about learning by giving haircuts

Given the breakneck speed at which the world is moving, the only skill you can truly count on today is the skill of quickly learning a new skill. “Which new skill did you learn during the pandemic?” probably became the most popular icebreaker question in 2020. Like most others, I picked up a new skill – haircutting! As I acquired this new skill, I learnt a few things that can be applied to learning in general. Here is what I learnt:

Commit to learning that skill

Willingness to learn is probably the biggest prerequisite for learning. Obvious as it may sound, you must remind yourself that you can’t learn anything if you try to learn it half-heartedly. You can’t learn if you think “you could”, or “you should”. You can only learn if you really “want to”.  Regardless of whether you want to acquire a skill out of a necessity or as a hobby, you must be willing commit yourself fully to learning it. When I decided to start cutting my family members’ hair, although it was for a very practical need (We were getting to a point where it was better to take the risk and try to cut our hair than leave them as is), yet it was my conscious decision that I was going to be the one to learn and do it. So, it was with patience, practice and my family’s cooperation, that I became the designated “coiffeuse” for my family.

Set a goal

I had no aspirations of becoming a professional hair stylist, but I wanted to be able to give haircuts to all the members of my family regardless of their age and gender. More importantly, I wanted to be able to give a haircut that looked like a haircut and not an accident! With that clear goal in mind, it was easier to go through my learning journey. I evaluated every haircut against my goal and made mental notes on what else I need to do to get there. I often had to iterate on the haircuts, running behind my children over the next couple of days, to snip off that extra bunch of hair sticking out. But, the number of post-haircut snips steadily reduced. As they say, “purposeful practice” is the key to achieving your goal.

Observe and learn

Through the years before the pandemic, being a cautious and protective mother, I would carefully observe how a hair stylist would cut my children’s hair – How he would style my son’s hair and give him the spiky look, and how he would separate out my daughter’s hair and cut each segment separately and give layers. While the purpose of all that observation was to ensure that the professional hair stylist didn’t mess up (Yes, I know that sounds paranoid), yet recalling those little details really helped me apply what goes into a haircut, now that the tables had turned! I also went through some articles and video tutorials to understand the “nuances of handling tresses” better. Knowing the technique and going through tips, helped me speed up my learning process.

Use the right tools

The first time I gave a haircut to my daughter, her hair got cut unevenly, and despite my best efforts, I could not make the style the way I wanted. While reading an article on how to give good haircuts, I realized that I wasn’t using the right scissors. To give a haircut, you must have sharp scissors – Duh!! I had this facepalm moment, as I had used just the ordinary stationery scissors. The next time, I used a sharp new pair of scissors, and it made a huge difference. I felt like I had a lot more control over what I was trying to do. Now, I lay out my arsenal of haircutting scissors, hair clippers, water, comb, chair cloth and cleaning supplies (Side note: It is very important to have cleaning supplies ready, and use them effectively, if you don’t want hair all over yourself and your house!) So, when you set out to learn something, ensure you have the right tools to learn and practice the skill.

Keep your critics close

When I just started, while my husband and daughter bravely volunteered for haircuts, my son absolutely refused to let me give him a haircut. He made it sound like it was worse than getting his tooth extracted! While my initial reaction was defensive – “I am not a hair professional” to downright offensive “You should be grateful that I am even willing to do this”, yet once I got past my initial anger, I started listening to his feedback carefully – “My hair are getting pulled” - I learnt that spraying more water would help prevent that. “I hate my haircut” translated into “You cut my hair too short”. While coaxing him into haircuts and making small adjustments, I got to a point where he would himself ask me to give him a haircut. The last time I asked him how he liked it, he finally said – “It’s alright”. Phew!! So, when you are learning something new, pay attention to actionable feedback, and use it to improve your craft.

Use it or lose it

While some skills like cycling will stay with you forever, most skills will deteriorate with time, if you don’t put them to use. While I know that I will get many more opportunities to practice my newly acquired haircutting skills through 2021, however, beyond that, if I intend to keep the skill, I am well-aware that I must keep practicing. So how do I use so as not to lose it? My husband for sure won’t mind free haircuts for life 😉

To sum it up, learning any skill requires conscious effort, goal setting, observation, technique, tools and continuous improvement.

Writing this article reminded me of some of the funniest quarantine haircut memes of last year (While I couldn’t have enough of them, I was very careful not to share them with my family!)

I hope you had as much fun reading this post as much as I had learning this skill. I wish you happy learning as you decide to learn your next new skill. Let me know what you learnt about learning while learning something new!

 Article originally published at: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-i-learnt-learning-giving-haircuts-neha-verma/

4 Life Lessons that shaped my career

We all go through our lives and careers, looking back on our learnings, from time to time. As I thought about my own journey, I thought of a few incidents that made me pause, think, and do things differently, from then on. Here are 4 such stories from my life and the lessons I learnt, that have shaped my thinking and my career.

Lesson 1 - Test, Test until you succeed

I was in school, and my younger sister asked me for help to make a working model of hydrolysis. Together, we spent the whole weekend meticulously building the model. It turned out great, and my sister proudly took it to school. The teacher looked at it admiringly and turned it on. But, nothing happened! It didn’t work! Because, we never tested it. We had become so engrossed in building something cool, that we forgot the painfully obvious act of testing it! It has been decades, yet I still feel the pain of putting my sister through embarrassment and a poor grade. This experience taught me great respect for testing. Today, as a marketer, my success depends on constantly testing what works – subject line, creative, segment - everything. Over the years, I have become a strong advocate for quality and processes. I like to put processes in place to minimize errors, empower my quality assurance teams, and expose all my team members to testing, so that that they can develop a deeper appreciation for quality. Now, I always remember that - one good test is worth more than a thousand opinions, including my own!

Lesson 2 - Team work above everything else

My husband and I went for a family kayaking event organized by my husband’s employer. It was a beautiful sunny day, and there were about 25 odd kayaks, with a husband-wife duo in each one of them. This was my first time kayaking, and I was really excited as we started. However, soon we realized that we were not making much progress. Neither of us trusted each other’s rowing skills, and we kept doing our own thing. Our rowing was completely out of sync, and we were constantly arguing. Finally, we made it to our destination – 15 minutes after the last of those kayaks had already reached. It was embarrassing, to say the least! Here we were - 2 reasonable smart individuals who just could not get a kayak moving in the right direction. Why? Because, we were not a good team! It was a great lesson in the value of team-work. Since then, while we have made huge strides in becoming a great team as a couple, I have become a vocal advocate of collaboration and team work at workplace. I have seen seemingly impossible goals achieved, just because of outstanding team work. This experience among many others solidified my belief that it doesn’t matter how smart you are, if you don’t know how to collaborate and bring out the best in others, to accomplish great things together.

 Lesson 3 - A little kindness goes a long way

It was my first day at a new school, in 9^th grade. I was feeling overwhelmed and self-conscious, as one of the teachers walked me to my new class. When I reached the classroom, 40 unknown faces turned towards me. The teacher in the class asked me to come in and take a seat. However, as I scanned the classroom, I realized that none of the seats was available for me to take. I was rooted to the spot, nearly in tears, as one of the girls at the back stood up and said to me – “You can share my chair”. A feeling of immense relief and gratitude flooded through me, as I walked towards her. Through the years, that little act of kindness has always stayed with me. I have learnt to appreciate the value of nice gestures and small acts of kindness at workplace. I have seen people fill up with emotion at seemingly smallest of acts. It reminds me that at the end of the day, regardless of all our differences, we all are humans, and we want to be treated with respect and kindness. I have built great relationships over my career, just by understanding the value of “treating people as people”. A little kindness really goes a long way – yes at work too!

Lesson 4 – Believe that work is a choice

When I got married, I took a break from work as I moved to the US to live with my husband. While I loved my first few weeks as a “free bird”, that feeling soon gave way to boredom. In a few months, I went from a happy housewife to a frustrated job seeker. A bad economy and work visa challenges kept adding to my woes, and rejections started piling up. I tried to divert myself to community work and other pursuits, but all I really wanted to do was - get back to work. At the end of a very long year and a difficult move back to India, I finally got a job. That year made me realize how important work is to me and my identity. I have been much happier at work ever since! Whenever I am struggling at work or thinking about taking a step back, I think back to that year, and that always puts things back in perspective! I have realized that believing that work is a choice can be a very empowering thought - It makes you happier and more purposeful in all that you do at work.

These are the lessons I learnt from varied life experiences. Which stories from your life do you think about, when you think of defining moments or incidents?

Article originally published at: https://www2.deloitte.com/ui/en/blog/life-deloitte-blog/2021/four-life-lessons-that-shaped-my-career.html

Finding your way - Your unofficial guide to surviving and thriving in Deloitte

A few years ago, when I joined Deloitte’s Customer & Marketing business, I was like a bright-eyed kid looking for a great adventure.

As I went along the road, I stumbled upon some unwritten rules and learnings that have served me well over the course of my career with Deloitte. Here is my unofficial guide to finding your way in this big organisation:

When in Rome, become a Roman

I had read countless case studies that mentioned that companies with strong culture are more successful, and so are the employees who imbibe the culture.

So, I set out on my Deloitte journey to seek nirvana a.k.a. complete cultural integration. I observed people, asked questions, made mental notes, and started to pick up terminology, creating my own glossary of terms for reference.

I told my husband that we need to set up a regular “cadence” of date nights and that if he doesn’t help our elder child with homework, his husband “performance snapshot” may not be as good. When my husband pointed out that the frequency of my spa trips was increasing, I reminded him that it is essential to my “well-being”, and that this should continue to be among our “priorities” for this year.

During my integration process, I once absentmindedly tried using my Deloitte access card to enter my apartment building!! Time flew by, and one day someone asked me – “How many years have you been at Deloitte?”. I smiled and said 7; 7 months. I had become a Roman!

Know thy network

I haven’t met a single person so far, who after joining Deloitte hasn’t heard the term “networking” at least a thousand times in the first couple of months! Like most others, I wondered what the fuss is all about, until the day came when I needed to secure seats for my project team. I had no idea where to start. My teammate suggested that I find this elusive “Seating SPOC*” to get my wish.

So, I started my hunt by emailing someone I knew. That person looped in 2 more people, and so the email went around for 3 days, with more and more people from across locations getting added to it.

Finally, I had the name! I pinged that person, and in response I heard – “I am right here” Feeling completely disoriented, I looked around frantically trying to identify the source of the sound. I finally saw someone sitting right behind me, waving at me. He was the seating SPOC!

Since then, I have actively invested in getting to know people, and building my own network to get the right information quickly. Today, I run my own version of "Ask Jeeves" and I have as many as 10 pings a day exchanging information ranging from how to file an expense to how to give a haircut! 

Curiosity didn’t kill the cat

Believing that it is better to be foolish today than forever, I didn’t hold back when it came to asking questions about things I didn’t understand. I asked questions at every opportunity. I remember asking a senior PPMD** what a PPMD is!

The amount of learning that followed all that questioning was tremendous. It helped me feel more knowledgeable and confident over a period of time.

Of course, things got a bit out of hand as more people started taking notice of my penchant for questioning, and I started getting invited to a wide variety of sessions with an undernote - Please ask questions (No pressure, curious cat!)

When in doubt… Set up a meeting

I remember during my early months, a senior leader asked me to work on a proposal. I went through the email and attachments multiple times, but just could not figure out what needed to be done! In near panic, I called a co-worker friend to ask what I should do. He gave me the best advice I would ever get – “Set up a meeting.”

So, I did. During the meeting, after a few minutes of awkward silence, the senior leader said – “If you are expecting me to tell you something, I don’t know anything.”

After nervous laughter, we discussed whatever information we had, and were eventually able to come up with a plan of action.

Take fun seriously

If you have never participated in extra-curricular activities throughout school or college, you may seriously want to consider[MP2]  Deloitte as a career choice. Here, you will forever be surrounded by people who in addition to being brilliant at their job, are amazing artists, singers, dancers or photographers, and great at having fun.

Since I didn’t have any remarkable skill in any of these areas, I decided to put my compulsive planning and organization skills to use by bringing such people together.

During my first year at Deloitte, I organized events of every shape, size and colour. From small group connects to practice wide outings, I organized them all!

Besides being fun, this created a great opportunity for me to meet people who I would not have otherwise crossed paths with. As I dealt with more complex challenges, I had this diverse network that I could tap into. With all this experience, just in case Consulting doesn’t work out as a career for me, there’s always event planning! (Just kidding!)

To sum it up, we all want to work at a place where we belong, and learning the culture goes a long way in creating that feeling of belonging. As my amazing adventure continues, I hope to discover more such rules of the road along the way! What are your unofficial rules for your workplace?

 *SPOC Single Point of Contact

**PPMD Partner Principal Managing Director

Article originally published at: https://www2.deloitte.com/ui/en/blog/life-deloitte-blog/2020/finding-your-way-unofficial-guide-deloitte-career.html 

5 things that we wish to tell our kids, but don’t

As parents we constantly feel that time is just flying away… Our little bundle(s) of joy  will soon become adults, leaving us with so many things that we wanted to do with them and so much left to tell… Here are 5 things that we wish to tell our children, but don’t:

 1.      We love you more than we ever imagined

 Some parents fall in love with their child the day he or she is born, some develop a bond slowly as months and years go by. Our kids know that we love them - we show it in different ways, and most of the times we don’t show it enough. But what we don’t tell our kids is that our love for them is probably the most overpowering form of love that we have ever experienced, and that we could not have imagined it while they were not in our lives. It gives us strength to do things we didn’t think we were capable of. It also makes us feel more vulnerable than we were ever prepared for. Yes, we get frustrated and exhausted, we sometimes yell at you and keep reminding you how much you trouble us, yet not a day passes by when we don’t thank God for sending you in our lives…

 2.       We are always worried about your safety

Whether you are in school, or out playing in the park, or at a friend’s home, or travelling, no matter how old you are, we are always worried about your safety. Sometimes when we can’t reach you, we get the worst nightmares about what might have happened to you. Since becoming parents, every bad news involving children seems more real, and disturbs us more. Our fears are sometimes irrational, but we just can’t help it! This makes us nag you all the time – “Don’t jump from the couch – you will fall and break all your teeth!”, “Don’t hit your head against that teddy bear, you will hurt yourself” – Ok, now I am exaggerating ;-)

 3.         We don’t know what to do with our time when you are not around

 This is especially true for parents of young kids. We just keep wishing for free time that we can spend on ourselves. We day-dream about the time when there is peace and quiet, when we are not constantly on our toes meeting your needs and demands. However, when you are not around, we suddenly don’t know what to do with all that time. It’s a strange feeling when time just seems to stretch out. And then, we can’t help but wait for you to be back!

 We even worry about becoming empty nesters one day, even if you are just a baby right now!

 4.       We are insecure when it comes to parenting

We might be the most assertive and confident professionals at workplace, but we are never completely sure when it comes to being a parent. We are constantly questioning and over-analyzing our choices and decisions that we have made for you, worrying if we indeed did the best thing for you.

We are insecure when you no longer need us to take care of you and your needs, even though we want you to grow up and become independent. We enjoy doing things for you day in and day out even if it tires us out completely, and when you no longer need our constant attention, we miss the time when you needed us like that.

5.       You make us better people

You demand nothing short of the best we have, and then even better than that. Because of you, we learn how to stretch ourselves physically and emotionally, and then we find out that there is much more within us waiting to be discovered, beyond what we thought were our limits.

This self-improvement process is sometimes conscious and a lot of times unconscious. But as we go through the parenting journey, we know that we somehow becoming better… As they say - parenting tests us in unimaginable ways and what better way to build character than endure hardships ;-)

This is what I would like to tell my children. What would you like to add to this list?

Article originally published at: https://www.buzzfeed.com/nehaverma/5-things-that-we-wish-to-tell-our-kids-but-dona-1ppxg